This is important, especially if you wish to conceive. My little girl is turning 3, and I remember the process vividly. I was an older mother with little experience dealing with gynaecologists. Additionally, my age was a big worry for me; I didn’t dwell on it, and most people were nice about it, but it hung like a sword at the back of my mind. From the beginning, I knew I wanted a doctor I could communicate my worries clearly with. For me, communication was just as important as qualifications and certifications.
The truth is, most Indian women don’t talk about sex, vaginal health, or pregnancy until directly faced with it. I struggled to find reliable information online, so I want to add from my lived experience so that it makes it easier for someone else. My advice? Don’t settle after the first consultation – meet 2 or 3 doctors and then decide.
I learnt these key things while choosing a gynaecologist:
Communication is Key:
I was lucky to find an encouraging gynae through a friend who gave me this exact feedback: “She talks positively.” If your gynae is talking negatively from the start, this is a red flag. I was in my late 30s and nervous about my pregnancy, but my doctor sat me down and gave me the pros and cons in an objective way and never once discouraged me. Remember, your gynae will be your coach and guide for the next 9 months; tough love alone doesn’t work.
Comfort while waiting:
I had been to a top gynae in Mumbai who made me wait for hours. I was told this was normal because he was “in demand”—but to me, it showed a lack of respect for my time. With my doctor, while delays happened occasionally (and only for reasons beyond her control), the waiting room itself reflected her values: I saw patients from all walks of life being treated with the same dignity and care. That kind of atmosphere builds trust even before your consultation begins.
Curiosity is a good thing:
Not being allowed to ask questions is another RED flag. Growing up, I never learnt much about my body; my parents never spoke to me about it, and even now, they don’t. So, I had a lot of doubts and questions for my doctor. Thankfully, she was open and transparent. A good doctor should never resist your curiosity. When your questions are being brushed aside, it’s time to look for someone else.
Accessibility Matters:
I learnt a key thing: having a gynaecologist nearby made a world of difference. Due to complications, I needed weekly injections in my first trimester. Later, when I was waddling around in the final months, the short commute was a blessing. Convenience is not a luxury—it’s practical self-care.
Compassion vs. commission:
A friend of mine went to a doctor who didn’t even review her file properly before recommending IVF—an expensive, unnecessary procedure she didn’t want. This kind of one-way, commercialised approach is a red flag. If you feel like your doctor is pushing you toward procedures without truly listening, walk away.
At the end of the day, you should look at a doctor’s qualifications and reputation. But beyond that, these softer aspects—communication, compassion, accessibility—make all the difference in how smooth, supportive, and even enjoyable your journey can be. I hope sharing my experience helps you find the right gynaecologist for yourself.
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